you were the pizza hut

“Just make me your first choice.

Choose me…
I know it sounds selfish, in our life time we all have goals. There usually to be rich or have that house or that career, my goal has always been for someone to put me first.
I can’t wait for someone to want me as much as I want them. To love me for the things that I hate about myself. Someone who finally puts me first and it kills them when they don’t see me or talk to me for awhile. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend to death and my best friend. I would never want to replace them I’d give up my life for them. But when you have parents who don’t come to your graduation and just neglect you, it drives you to be selfish. I just want to be someone’s person. Where I text them and their heart races or they get excited. When they see me they have the biggest smile ever. I know it’s too late now I have a couple of weeks left so I obviously can’t find that friend who would do this for me but damn.
I’m so scared of the next couple of weeks but then again death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.
I know they will be angry and confused and betrayed I left them. But they only care when you’re gone. He yells at me puts me second and neglects and she doesn’t have the time of the day. For both a text is too much sometimes.
Let them mourn me.”

“stay turnt, pony boy”

— abraham lincoln, the gettysburg address   (via stereobone)